Having the courage to follow our intuition, especially when we cannot imagine the How of it, becomes possible when we trust from our heart of hearts.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE HOW by Rachel
For most of my adult life I have been ‘on the fence’ about whether or not to have children. I love children and have a great connection with them. My friends’ children and my niece and nephews adore me and we have such a special bond, people have commented that I would make an excellent mother.
But for many years I put off even thinking about settling down and having children because I had an overwhelming yearning – a need even – to travel. When any man started to get close to me I would back off because I knew the timing wasn’t right and that they might deter me from my goal of travelling.
Having taken a year off from work to travel, at the age of 34, I later learnt WHY I needed to take that trip so much; it was to resolve unfinished business if you like, from my most recent past life. Almost immediately after it had been resolved, I started thinking in earnest about having children. I started to panic! At this stage, age 36, and with absolutely no dating prospects in sight I knew deep down that I wanted to have a child, but was terrified to want it too much because for all I knew I might not be able to have one and God knows with the best will in the world it takes two people to make one!
I also never really had that yearning to live with a man in a conventional relationship set up. I looked at IVF but the cost made that an impossible solution. So I tried to put it out of my mind and when people asked me if I wanted children I would often say no, or I had not decided yet. But that was for fear of wanting something I didn’t think I could have.
In November 2017 I attended a Sunday meeting at Hillhouse Farm during which Louisa explained a fascinating story about the sheep on the farm. She had put the ram in with the ewes about two weeks previously and was due to take him out again in 24 hours time. There was one ewe that had not ‘taken’. She put a call out to any local soul and asked if it would like to enter the ewe, explaining that it was a great opportunity for growth. Nothing happened. About 6 hours later she put out a call world wide with the same message. Half an hour later the ram and the ewe were courting, side by side, grazing in unison, and three lambs were conceived.
I had an epiphany moment! I realised that all my fear and worry was completely unnecessary. Not only that but probably completely counterproductive! It was not my decision whether to bring a new soul into the world. I knew it had to be for the highest and the best, and if it was meant to be, I did not need to understand the HOW or the WHEN. I felt overwhelmed with relief! In that moment, in the meeting I just had to speak up! I put it out to the universe right there and then that I was ready to be a vessel to bring a new soul into the world; if there were any souls out there that wanted me, I am here! I asked that this would only be if it were for the highest and the best – for me, for the new soul and for the planet! And I LET IT GO. I never thought on it again.
Approximately a month or so later, I came across a group on facebook which I joined and within less than a day I was chatting to a man who I met a few days later. What is strange about what happened next is that from the outset he was not the ‘type’ I would normally go for and I could not understand myself what the attraction was to him. But nonetheless we saw each other for a few weeks and without thinking about it or trying, I got pregnant (very quickly, about 5 weeks into the relationship).
I didn’t know I had conceived at the time, but it was the last time we were ever intimate. What is strange (or perhaps not strange, if you think about it) is that as soon as it was over, the attraction diminished overnight. I ended the relationship and about a month later found out I was pregnant.
It may seem odd to some people to choose an unconventional way to have a child, but I got exactly what I wanted. Actually both me and the child’s father are excited about having the baby, and agreed to co-parent living separately. I still don’t know HOW we will make it work, and I don’t know WHY this soul chose us both, but I do know that we agreed this before we came to this life and there is a bigger, higher reason that will in time be revealed. So I will not question it. I have learnt through this experience that TRUST is what is required, trust and a complete letting go. This has been a fast track course in manifestation!
I hope this story will be of some comfort to someone else and I am happy for it to be shared, so long as it is for the highest and the best. 😊
Love Rachel xxx