Even our everyday but often unobserved incidents can become doorways to further enlightenment, if we are prepared to see them from fresh perspectives.
In this article Jo Greaves shares with us how, by acknowledging deeply embedded emotions rather than ignoring or suppressing them, it is possible to gently release them from their roots.
After a considerably decent length of time of feeling relatively “well” inside myself and at One with the Universe, it came as quite a shock when, five days ago, I found myself reacting to an incident with my husband. Oh my goodness. All those old emotions of feeling ignored, second best and taken for granted TOTALLY came back in one huge flood. I was so angry, but also absolutely dismayed as I witnessed myself being unable to let it go, no matter how hard I tried. I gave him the cold shoulder, ignored him, snapped and sulked, and generally found myself wanting to take actions or non-actions in order to ‘get him back’. I felt SO bad and guilty about this. As the silent witness inside me watched all this going on, it also observed that I was creating many bumps, bruises and accidents of self-punishment because of this guilt.
This morning, the fifth day, and after several attempts at releasing, I still felt out of balance with the Universe (although I was “thawing out” with him). Therefore, after having just painfully caught my toe on a door, I turned my back on the world and chores, and decided to sit quietly in my favourite chair to try once again, to let it all go. After a while, I asked the Universe in the sincerest way I could, to show me why I was struggling so much with this. Before, I had been asking the Universe from a place of frustration and irritation. I also asked for help to FULLY enlighten in this lifetime.
After about half an hour, I noticed an old Cygnus magazine. I thought, well I must have kept it for a reason – perhaps an article I didn’t want to throw away. So I opened it up and very quickly found myself drawn to two articles both side by side.
The first was written by Geoff who, by sharing his experiences, reminded me that earth is the planet of choice for US. We can struggle by ourselves (because the other side cannot interfere without us asking) or we can ask for help. If we decide to struggle on alone – even though we are doing our very best – then no matter how much effort we put into clearing the obstacles, we can end up digging even deeper holes.
He reminded me that the Universe patiently stands by and watches and waits until we have exhausted our willpower, our ego and our conditioning, and we accept in all humility that we don’t need to find all the answers on our own. When we ask for that genuine help, a shout of joy goes out from the rest of the Universe and opens us up to possibilities/solutions we have never dreamed of.
The second article was called Gentle Self-Compassion. It was written by someone who has been opened up to the experience of the Fall, ie when we all first became individually conscious and then went into terrifying emotions and panic as we believed ourselves to be separate and alone; and how we had carried these emotions forward over millenniums of time. He reminded me that the habits these buried and suppressed emotions had created, would not be dissipated with one sudden ’hit’ of understanding, and that they can suddenly get triggered again and again between long periods of feeling just fine.
He also reminded me so beautifully, that accepting and allowing these emotions to emerge slowly, and not beat myself up when they do, would trigger profound healing. Gradually, and without realising it, the flood of these emotions would become a trickle and eventually leave altogether, giving way to balance and a surer sense of connection with the Universe. And most wonderfully, a lightening soul would evolve into an enlightened soul.
Now I TRULY feel better within myself and thank the Universe, Geoff, husband (who was being my teacher) and author.
I know that the plethora of bumps, bruises and accidents I have subconsciously ‘punished’ myself with this week will now stop as I allow self-compassion and forgiveness to enter. On a lighter side, I will just say that I am still clearing up spots and splodges of yoghurt on my clothes, walls, doors, floor AND ceiling. And yet the bowl didn’t break!!